Well I never knew how blind I could be. I'm going out with a guy I don't even get along with. When the guy I'm supposed to be with is right beside me. I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND! Maybe I've been wrong about other guys in the past, but believe me...this is the real thing. He goes to youth group with me, he's an amazing singer, he never puts me down, he HATES video games, he's a Christian, he's funny, smart, and cute. We have way more in common then the guy I'm going out with right now. I don't change my mind a lot with these sort of things. Feelings have overwhelmed me ever since my boyfriend and I's breakup. Of course we got back together, but I don't know if it was the right thing to do. I'm not jumping to conclusions, and breaking up right away....I'm gonna wait another 3 months. But if this overpowering feelings of jealousy, pathetic, and crushing doesn't stop.....I don't know what I'll do. Oh those blue eyes...
He's always there for me. Always asking me if I'm all right. There for a shoulder to cry on. Always there to wipe me tears. To squeeze me hand. Tell me I'm beautiful. That I'm talented. Always tagging along to do random stuff. Playing cards. Laughing at my jokes. Making me laugh when I'm sad. Making songs for me on his guitar. Telling me that I deserve the best. That I can do anything I work hard for. To stick up for me. To massage my feet. To be my pillow. Read to me. Share ice cream with me. Shop with me. Brush a piece of hair off my face. To hold me when I need a hug. Man, those hugs.....
This guy is so close, and he thinks we are like brother and sister. I'm not ready to tell him. I don't want to lose that bond. The closeness. The comfort. And if he doesn't feel the same, then that will all be gone.
But don't some elderly people tell the story of how they fell in love, and married their best friend? I don't know....maybe it's a crush. Maybe I'm misunderstanding signals. Am I? I'll wait, but I don't want anyone to have him...
I've NEVER felt this way before. Not as strong. I'd kill anyone that would hurt him..(not literally). It's been going on for two months now. But there was this one time, about a week ago, we were hugging randomly, and it lasted for like 2 mins. My breath grew faster, as my head was against his chest. I looked up, and he was gazing right into my eyes. We inched closer and closer...and oven timer went off, because we made cookies. We broke apart abruptly. We were soo close! But he shrugged and laughed it off as a joke,a nd punched me in the arm. Thank goodness he couldn't read my mind, because I really wanted him to kiss me....But anyhow, that's what is running through my brain. I can't sleep, can't eat. Is this love? Or over-controlling, freakish, random, crushing, head-over-heels, once in a lifetime fling? HELP ME! D: Comment on what you think it is, or what I should do!
-Danae .C.
